I don’t want to be back where I started but that is where I was quickly heading the way I was going and I can honestly tell you that idea scares me. The fact I was weighing in most weeks didn’t really seem to push me to eat well and whilst I was eating all my meals on plan I had started to have little (and not so little!) binges on bad foods. I could feel myself falling well and truly back into old habits. Hiding food, lying to myself about what I was eating and my waistline was getting bigger and bigger.
It is not easy to admit that your not so long ago skinny body is fast becoming obese again but it is the truth. I can not honestly tell you why I said has happened as I think it is a combination of a number of things and those are the things I need to address. My depression and lack of body confidence have spiralled downwards as my weight has spiralled upwards and they go hand in hand. The more down I feel about my body the more I have binged and comfort eaten. I am my own worst enemy but I know I am not alone and so many other people do this too. I can’t keep using it as an excuse though. I need to accept that I will be happier when I get back to the weight I had achieved. I was so much happier then in myself and no amount of anti depressants will make me love myself when I am on this downward spiral.
So today is a new day, a day where I sat through the new members talk in Slimming World and started a new weight loss journey. This time I know what I can achieve, I know it is possible and I know that I will achieve it. This time however I will pay a lot more attention to how I am feeling and how my body is looking and when I get back to my target weight I know I will stay there because this last few months or so where I have been getting bigger and bigger have not been happy. My life is exactly how I like it now and the only thing holding me back is my weight and body confidence. I have a home life I love and I am genuinely so happy with everything now, except my body. I know I can get back to that happy place with my body again though and this time I will ensure I stay there.
Many people told me that when I was at my target weight I was too thin. I was happy though where I was and I think that is where I want to get back to. I am going to put my all into this and work on it day by day until I get back to the weight I felt most happy with myself at. I know I can do it with the help of my family at home and my Slimming World family. Some times new starts are what is needed. It doesn’t mean I have failed it means I have discovered what I need to make sure that I do not continue on this self destruction mode.
I hope all of you readers understand this and will continue to be there reading the ups and downs of my weight losses and gains (I am hoping not many of those). I will of course continue as always to share recipes and tips for weight loss and healthy eating along with all the other things I share with you from giveaways to lifestyle posts and reviews. I can’t promise my journey back to target will be smooth though I hope it won’t be too bumpy either and I will continue to be open honest with you all throughout! I am sure many of you can relate to my journey and I hope it won’t be too long before I am back to having lost a total of over 10 stone. Not that the number matters where I first started anymore now it’s onwards and downwards from here! First week back on plan completely and I’m hoping for 7lb off so fingers crossed for me!
If you enjoy reading my blog please do feel free to click through the different tabs to find weight loss tips, reviews, lifestyle articles, giveaways, recipes and lots more!
If you would like to sign up to receive my weekly newsletter containing all that weeks posts direct to your inbox so you never miss a giveaway or post that might interest you just pop your email address in the box below and you will get a FREE one week Meal Plan designed by me! Don’t forget to also click to the confirmation email you will receive.