Who should pay? Relationships and money in 2018

When I was a little girl, like many children I imagined a prince sweeping me off my feet. I imagined living in a big house, my prince buying me clothes shoes and jewellery. Of course as I got older my dreams changed as I am sure many of yours did too and I had ambitions and goals in life, I wanted to earn my own money and wanted to meet a man who made me happy and money was less of an issue. Does everyone go through this? Are there some people who look for wealth in a potential partner? Should everything be 50/50? I have some research conducted by Shepherds Friendly which has some results that surprised me so I thought I would share. Should women expect gifts from their men and them to pay for everything? Do men feel this is expected?

Does money play a part in how attractive you find someone to be?

For me in all honesty it doesn’t as such however given previous experiences my thoughts would be that it depends more on how they prioritise spending the money they have rather than the amount. I was surprised to read however that when people between 45 and 54 were asked if  money plays a part in how attractive they find someone only 9.56% of men agreed with that but a whopping 41.1% of women agreed! Overall though the statistics weren’t so dissimilar with 22.4% men in general agreeing and 36.1% of women agreeing.

Date night – who should pay?

My thoughts on this essentially are that it should be split however I do think there are some exceptions. I think if I travelled a fair distance at expense to meet someone they should then pay if they haven’t travelled for example. I do think though that really it should be equal so one buys tickets for cinema other buys snacks perhaps and sharing exactly 50/50 isn’t necessary. The research showed that I am not alone in thinking this and 56.1% of women also agree with splitting the bill. What did surprise me though was that only 28.5% of men thought the bill should be split. When asked if men should pay the whole bill 68.3% of men agreed. Presumably the other 3.2% of men think women should pay? Maybe they just didn’t answer the question!

Dr Spelman who conducted the research with Shepherds Friendly says: “Men paying on a date night is a traditional attitude that springs from the simple fact that our society comes from a very patriarchal past. Men still want to pay even though things have changed a lot in society, and this could be a way of exercising a degree of control in a relationship. Over three-quarters of women aged 18-29 feel that couples should split the bill, which indicates that younger women have grown up in a society where they feel more secure and able, and less inclined to look to male partners for financial security”.

To read more about the results of their research check out the infographic below.

infographc about finances in relationships, click to be taken to a screen reader friendly version

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