This is a collaborative post.
When we are in our 30s as I am we rarely think about how we will be as pensioners do we. Of course, we can see how our parents and grandparents are, but imagine ourselves in that position and elderly is scary isn’t it.
I, for one, really wonder how things will be when I am older and not able to look after myself. Ben is growing up fast but due to his special needs may never be able to look after me in the way some children care for their parents.
To be honest, I don’t think I would want that pressure on him either it isn’t fair, is it?
Do you think about how your children will care for you? Or maybe you are like me and know you will rely on home care services because you don’t want your children to have to do that. You can find care services in your area but searching for nursing agency London for example.
Another consideration I think is that as generally, the population are living longer that means our children will potentially be much older when they may need to care for us.
Do you worry about caring for your own elderly parents? Or maybe you already are? I thought I would share with you my honest feelings and concerns about both aspects of this. Ben caring for me and me caring for my parents.
Whilst my father recently passed away (I wrote about that here) and didn’t require any care from me prior to his death I still have my mum and stepdad to worry about.
My stepdad is in his 70s and my mum is in her 60s. Though the reality is age doesn’t matter does it, my dad was 64 when he died. My main concerns are regarding choosing the right help for them as they grow old and are less able to do everything themselves.
I am fully aware that I and my siblings are unlikely to be able to do everything ourselves and to be honest neither would we want to. I certainly wouldn’t anyway.
I think there are some aspects of elderly care I would want to be sure were done properly and do myself however in many ways home care is perfect too.
When it comes to personal care I think I would let them decide if they would like a carer to assist them or their family. It is their dignity after all.
When it comes to my impending old age I know already I will want carers to help me if needed as I wouldn’t want ben as an only child to feel that pressure. He will have a challenging life in many ways due to his autism and other needs so I feel really this is the best way for him too.
I guess it is a conversation I will need to have with him when he is older. I am hoping I have a fair few years in me yet though. I wonder if it is easier for families with lots of children. Do they share the load a little more? I guess the reality is that we all have our own lives too.
How do you feel? Do you have any preferences? With my Grandma getting older and needing more and more help (she is in her late 80s) and my dad’s recent death it is a subject I have found myself thinking about a lot.
Help at home or moving into sheltered housing or even a nursing home? There is so much choice. Ben enjoys testing out my grandma’s stair lift and of course, is too young to really imagine having to worry about things like that.
