So we all know I have gained weight. I have been open and honest about that on here and also on my social media. I hate the weight I have gained and the way I am no longer the slender 6-8 I was not so long ago. This time however I have new goals and new plans to achieve them. Most importantly my priorities have changed completely! So here is why I am losing weight again!
As you can see from the above picture I am not at all happy with the weight I have become and the way I now look. I am so disappointed in myself and also quite angry with myself for getting to this point again. I do however know I am human and you can not live with regrets.
I, of course, would love to get back to the size 6-8 I was. At this size (picture below) I was so confident in my figure and in myself. I am however a very different person from who I was when I first lost weight.
Why am I different?
Now after years of learning to love myself as the person I am inside regardless of the outside, I have changed so much. I am a confident person who will stand up in front of a group to talk when needed and could give a presentation etc. I am not afraid to challenge things I believe are wrong and I have become a whole new person.
Of course, I am still Jen. I am still the person who has attempted suicide, the person who needs antidepressants and the woman who stayed in an abusive relationship for years but that is the past. Now I happen to be all of those things but I do not let them define me.
Why I now love myself
The smile in the picture above is real. I was truly happy in that picture and I still am. Yes, I am not happy with the weight I am now and the size of my clothes but my inside and my life I am so happy with. If only Jen 5 or 10 years ago knew this was possible!
I love that I have my own job which I have built up and made myself. My relationship is exactly what feels right and Stuart makes me so happy. I love being a mum and am so proud of Ben that I could burst!
The way my life is now is absolutely perfect. Of course, I would love more money, wouldn’t we all? I would love to be thinner again and I would love to have a cleaner, chauffeur and butler. Of course, everyone dreams high so I am no different. I am however truly happy with where I am now.
The losing weight thing!
I am determined to lose weight, I want to be happy with my figure to add to all the other parts of me I am happy with. The difference is though after lots of thought is that I am in no immense hurry for this to happen. I am currently trying out the Do The Unthinkable plan from Musclefood (discount code if you want it at the bottom of this post). I will probably try other things or go back to Slimming World, who knows? I will get down to that happy weight again but whether I do it in 12 months, 18 months or 2 years I do not mind.
The reality is that I have realised that life is too short to miss out on things for dieting. Why should I always have a jacket potato when I eat out or say no to cheesecake? If by having cheesecake once in a while it takes me an extra month to be a size 8 will it really matter?
What to expect from me and my blog moving forwards
I will still be sharing healthy meals as of course that is what I will be eating most of the time. I will however not feel guilty for having the odd night out or the odd treat. The last time when I was losing weight I had a bit of an addiction to the scales. That is something I aim to avoid this time. I feel that weighing daily had almost become an eating disorder of some kind to me.
I won’t be a size 8 again next week or the week after. If this troubles you then please do feel free to stop following my posts because that is OK. It is my journey and I am going to ensure that as I lose weight I enjoy life, stay emotionally healthy and most importantly the numbers, on the whole, go down. This way I hope not only will I be happy with everything I am as a person but I will also be happy with the way I look and feel.
My life is great and weight loss didn’t change that, I changed that. Now I just need to lose weight again to add the last piece to the happy Jen puzzle of life. I hope that along the way I can inspire others with my words of wisdom, recipes and general chatter so if you enjoy my blog please do leave me a comment and share it with your friends.
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Read all about my weight loss and my story here.
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