Planning a Wedding Without Losing Your Mind: Lessons from UK Couples
As someone currently planning my own wedding for 2027 with my partner, Stuart, I’ve been thinking a lot about what really matters on the big day. Weddings are meant to be one of the happiest times in our lives, but let’s be honest, they can also be a bit of a whirlwind. With 243,000 couples tying the knot in the UK every year, it’s no surprise that stress and rising costs are common themes.
A recent report by greeting card marketplace thortful highlights just how much pressure couples feel when planning their weddings. From skyrocketing budgets to the endless pursuit of perfection, it’s easy to see how the joy of the occasion can sometimes get overshadowed.
The Biggest Wedding Regrets
Looking back, many couples wish they’d done things differently. According to Thoughtful’s survey, 37% of Brits regret spending too much time planning a wedding, worrying instead of enjoying their day, and 31% wish they hadn’t let other people influence their decisions. It’s a reminder that your wedding should reflect you and your partner, not everyone else’s expectations.
Other common regrets include:
- Overspending (28%)
- Choosing the wrong photographer or videographer (20%)
- Picking the wrong vendors (15%)
- Not hiring a wedding planner (11%)
- Wearing the wrong outfit (9%)
It’s clear that focusing on what truly matters to you as a couple can help avoid these pitfalls.
What Would Couples Do Differently?
If they could do it all over again, many couples would make some interesting changes. For instance, 45% said they’d hire a wedding content creator to capture the day in a more modern, social-media-friendly way. Others wished they’d gone for a vintage camera vibe (40%) or even opted for a smaller, more intimate “micro-wedding” to save money (30%).
Some other ideas for planning a wedding that stood out:
- Live wedding painters (28%)
- Mixed stag and hen dos, or “sten dos” (19%)
- Gender non-conforming outfits (18%)
It’s fascinating to see how traditions are evolving, with couples finding creative ways of planning a wedding to make their day unique and personal.
The Stress of Wedding Planning
Let’s face it, planning a wedding can feel like juggling a million things at once. Nearly half of couples (49%) said the pressure to make everything “perfect” was their biggest stressor. Budget management came in a close second, with 48% admitting it caused them the most anxiety.
Other common stress points included:
- Choosing the right wedding outfit (45%)
- Finding the perfect entertainment (45%)
- Deciding on the guest list (30%)
It’s no wonder so many of us feel overwhelmed. Balancing your vision for the day with the expectations of family and friends can be tricky, but it’s important to remember that it’s your day.
Expert Tips to Keep Wedding Stress in Check
Thankfully, there are ways to make the process of planning a wedding smoother. Two experienced wedding planners, Siobhan Craven Robbins and Andri Benson, shared their top tips for reducing stress and staying focused on what really matters.
1. Keep the Guest List Manageable
Siobhan advises only inviting people you genuinely want to celebrate with. “You should feel no obligation to invite guests you don’t like or feel indifferent about,” she says. “It can really overshadow the day’s dynamic.”
She also stresses the importance of setting a realistic budget before committing to anything. “If you don’t have the funds, delay the wedding. It’s incredibly stressful to feel the pressure of bills you can’t pay, and it’s not fair on your suppliers either.”
2. Share the Workload
Andri compares planning a wedding to a big production, which makes sense when you think about all the moving parts. Her advice? Don’t try to do it all yourself. “Whether it’s hiring a planner, delegating tasks to trusted friends, or simply letting go of things that aren’t important, you don’t have to carry it all on your shoulders,” she says.
She also recommends building in some breathing room. “Enjoying the lead-up and the day itself is just as important as the logistics.”
3. Focus on the Joy, Not the Details
A spokesperson from thortful sums it up perfectly: “It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure to please everyone, but the day is about celebrating love and creating memories. The details will come together, but the most important thing is to enjoy the experience with the people who matter most.”
Final Thoughts
As I start planning a wedding, my own wedding, I’m taking these lessons to heart. It’s so easy to get swept up in the idea of a “perfect” day, but perfection isn’t the goal, happiness is. Whether it’s keeping the guest list small, hiring a planner, or just letting go of the little things, I’m determined to make our day about what truly matters: celebrating love, laughter, and the start of a new chapter with Stuart.
If you’re planning a wedding, remember to take a step back, breathe, and focus on what makes you happy. After all, it’s the memories, not the menu or the centrepieces, that will last a lifetime.
Are you married? Would you do anything different if planning a wedding now? Let me know in the comments below.
