How to make time for yourself (and what to do with it)
We have all been there. You wake up, rush to get ready, maybe sort out the kids or pets, travel to work, do a full day of tasks, travel home, make dinner, clean up… and suddenly, it is bedtime.
You might lie in bed thinking: Did I do anything for myself today?
If the answer is “no”, you are not alone. In our busy world, taking a break feels like a luxury. You might even feel guilty about sitting down for five minutes. But here is the truth: time for yourself is not selfish. It is essential.
Think of yourself like a phone battery. If you keep using apps, making calls, and taking photos without charging, the battery dies. You cannot make calls on a dead phone. In the same way, you cannot look after your family, do your job, or be a good friend if you have run out of energy. This is why you have to make time for yourself.
This guide will show you why “me time” matters for your health. It will also give you simple, practical ways to find that time and ideas on how to spend it.
Why do you need to make time for yourself?
It is easy to push our own needs to the bottom of the list. But missing out on rest can harm your health.
It lowers stress
When you are always busy, your body makes stress hormones. If these levels stay high for too long, it can make you feel unwell. Taking time for yourself to relax helps your body calm down. The NHS says breathing exercises and relaxation can help with stress and anxiety.
It stops burnout
Have you ever felt so tired that you just cannot face the day? That might be burnout. The World Health Organisation describes burnout as a feeling of exhaustion caused by long-term stress that has not been managed well. Regular breaks act like a safety valve to stop this from happening.
It makes you happier
Research shows that having free time is good for your mood. A study published by the American Psychological Association found that people who had too little free time felt more stressed and less happy. Interestingly, having too much free time without a purpose also made people unhappy. The sweet spot seems to be having a few hours a day to do things you enjoy.
How to find time for yourself (even when you are busy)
You might be thinking: This sounds great, but I literally have no time.
That is a common feeling. But usually, we can find small pockets of time if we look closely. Here are six ways to find time for yourself.
1. Track your time
For just three days, write down everything you do. Be honest.
- How long do you spend scrolling on your phone?
- How long does housework take?
- How much time do you spend watching TV shows you do not really like?
You might find you lose 30 minutes a day on social media. That is 30 minutes you could use on time for yourself.
2. Learn to say “no”
This is hard. But every time you say “yes” to doing something for someone else, you are saying “no” to yourself. If you are asked to bake cakes for the school fair or work late again, pause. Ask yourself: Do I really have the energy for this? It is okay to say you cannot do it this time. Think about it, you can make time for yourself this way.
3. Ask for help
You do not have to do everything alone.
- If you live with a partner, can they cook dinner twice a week?
- Can older children help with the washing up?
- Could a friend watch your kids for an hour if you watch theirs next week?
Sharing the load gives you space to breathe and time for yourself.
4. Stop trying to be perfect
A messy house is not the end of the world. If you have 20 minutes, you could spend it dusting the shelves, or you could spend it reading a book. Sometimes, the dust can wait. Giving yourself permission to do less is a huge step towards better health.
5. Wake up earlier (or stay up later)
This does not work for everyone. But some people find the house is quietest early in the morning. Even waking up 15 minutes before the rest of the house gives you time to drink a tea in peace.
6. Use your “dead time”
“Dead time” is time spent waiting. Use this time for yourself and plan for it.
- Waiting in the car to pick up kids.
- Sitting on the bus or train.
- Waiting for the kettle to boil.
Instead of checking your emails during these moments, use them to take a few deep breaths or read a page of a book.
What to do with your “me time”
So, you have managed to find 15, 30, or 60 minutes. Now what to do with the time to yourself?
The goal is to do something that makes you feel good. It should not be another chore on your list. Here are some healthy ideas, split into how much energy they take.
Low Energy (For when you are tired)
The 5-minute breather
If you only have a few minutes, try a breathing exercise. The NHS recommends breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth gently. Let your breath flow deep into your belly. This signals to your brain that you are safe and can relax.
Listen to music
Put on your favourite song. Mind, the mental health charity, suggests listening closely to the music. Can you hear the different instruments? Can you hear the drum beat? Focusing on sound can stop your mind from worrying.
Read a magazine or book
Reading takes you into a different world. It gives your brain a break from your own life. Keep a book in your bag so you are always ready to read in time for yourself.
Take a bath
Warm water is very soothing for tight muscles. Make it special with some bubbles or a nice smell. Leave your phone in the other room so you are not tempted to check messages.
Cloud watching
This sounds simple, but it is very relaxing. Look out of the window or lie on the grass. Watch the clouds move. Notice the shapes. It helps you slow down.
Medium Energy (For when you need a boost)
Get out in nature
Spending time in green spaces is great for your mental health. Mind explains that nature can help you feel calmer. It does not have to be a big hike. A walk around the local park or sitting in your garden counts. Listen to the birds and feel the air on your face.
Get creative
You do not need to be an artist. Adult colouring books are very popular because they help you focus. Or you could try baking, knitting, or simple gardening. Making something with your hands feels rewarding.
Call a friend
Connecting with people we like makes us feel supported. Call someone who makes you laugh. Avoid people who only want to complain, as that can drain your energy.
Declutter one small space
This might sound like work, but for some people, tidying is calming. Clear out one drawer or tidy your desk. Seeing a clear space can make your mind feel clearer too.
High Energy (For when you want to be active)
Go for a walk or run
Exercise releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel happy. The NHS states that being active helps you burn off the energy caused by stress. It clears your head.
Try a new hobby
Learning something new is great for your brain. It could be learning to cook a new recipe, trying a yoga video online, or learning a few words in a new language.
Dance
Put on some upbeat music in the kitchen and dance while you cook or clean. It gets your heart rate up and it is hard not to smile while dancing.
How to make time for yourself a habit
Starting is the easy part. Sticking with it is harder. Here is how to make sure you keep taking time for yourself.
Schedule it like an appointment
If you had a doctor’s appointment, you would go. Treat your “me time” the same way. Write it on the calendar. Tell your family: “From 7pm to 7:30pm on Tuesdays, I am having a bath and reading.”
Set boundaries
Work-related stress is a big problem. ACAS advises that having too much to do and little support causes stress. It is important to leave work at work.
- Turn off email notifications on your phone after hours.
- Do not check work messages on the weekend.
- The NHS suggests setting clear boundaries to help you switch off.
Start small
Do not try to find an hour of time for yourself every day straight away. Start with 10 minutes. When that feels normal, try 15 minutes. Small steps are easier to stick to.
Do not feel guilty
This is the most important rule. You are not being lazy. You are looking after your health. When you are rested, you are a better parent, partner, and worker.
Common questions about “me time”
Here are some questions people often ask about taking time for yourself.
What if I cannot relax?
Some people find it hard to sit still. If sitting quietly makes you anxious, try “active relaxation”. Go for a walk, do a puzzle, or do some gardening. Relaxation does not have to mean doing nothing.
What if my family interrupts me?
This happens. Be clear with them. Say, “I need 15 minutes. Please do not disturb me unless it is an emergency.” If you have young children, you might need to take your time for yourself when they are asleep or watching a show.
Is scrolling on my phone “me time”?
It can be, but be careful. Often, looking at social media makes us feel worse. We compare ourselves to others or read bad news. Try to do things that make you feel refreshed, not drained. If you do use your phone, maybe use an app for meditation or reading instead of social media as time for yourself.
What if I have no money?
Most of the best ways to relax are free. Walking, reading (use the library!), breathing exercises, and listening to the radio cost nothing. You do not need expensive spa days to relax.
Summary
Taking time for yourself is a key part of living a healthy life.
Remember these three things:
- It is healthy: Rest lowers stress and prevents burnout.
- It is possible: You can find time by tracking your day, asking for help, and lowering your standards for chores.
- It is personal: Do what makes you happy. Whether that is a run in the park or a quiet cup of tea.
Start today. Find 10 minutes time for yourself. Your body and mind will thank you for it.
