Navigating Big Feelings With little Ones
Supporting children through their emotions can be one of the most rewarding – and sometimes challenging – parts of parenting or teaching. Young children are still learning how to understand, express, and manage their big feelings, which can lead to big emotions that feel overwhelming for both them and the adults around them.
By offering guidance, patience, and empathy, we can help little ones build emotional resilience and healthy coping strategies that will last a lifetime. Here’s how, inspired by the practices of this prep school in Essex.
Understanding Why Feelings Feel “Big”
Children often experience emotions in an intense way because their brains and language skills are still developing. They may not have the vocabulary to explain how they feel, so frustration, sadness, or excitement can come out in tears, tantrums, or sudden changes in behaviour. It’s important to remember that these “big feelings” are not misbehaviour, but a normal and healthy part of growth.
Acknowledging this perspective helps adults respond with compassion rather than frustration. Seeing emotions as opportunities for teaching, rather than problems to fix, lays the foundation for emotional intelligence.
The Role of Co-Regulation
Before children can regulate themselves, they rely on the adults around them for co-regulation. This means that when a child is upset, they need the calm presence of a trusted adult to help them feel safe and supported. Offering a hug, sitting quietly beside them, or using a soothing tone can make a huge difference.
Over time, these experiences teach children that feelings, even the overwhelming ones, can be managed. They gradually learn from the modelling adults provide, moving from needing external comfort to being able to self-soothe independently.
Helping Children Name Their Feelings
One of the simplest but most powerful tools for supporting children is helping them put words to their emotions. Saying phrases such as “I can see you’re feeling angry because your toy broke” or “It looks like you’re sad because you miss Grandma” helps them connect physical sensations with emotional language.
Naming feelings not only helps children feel understood but also empowers them to express themselves in healthier ways. Over time, this builds their confidence to talk about their emotions instead of acting them out.
Teaching Simple Coping Strategies
Introducing age-appropriate coping tools gives children a practical way to handle big feelings. Some strategies include:
- Breathing exercises – encouraging children to take slow, deep breaths when upset.
- Movement – running, jumping, or dancing to release built-up energy.
- Quiet time – creating a cosy space with books or soft toys where they can retreat to calm down.
- Creative outlets – drawing, painting, or storytelling as a way to process emotions.
These tools don’t just ease the moment – they also equip children with lifelong strategies for handling stress and strong emotions.
Leading With Empathy and Patience
Perhaps the most important part of navigating big feelings with little ones is responding with empathy. Instead of dismissing or minimising emotions, adults can validate them by saying, “I understand this feels really hard for you right now.” When children feel heard and supported, they are more likely to calm down and trust the guidance of the adult.
Patience is also key. Emotional growth takes time, and children will make mistakes as they learn. Consistency, reassurance, and unconditional love will guide them through these developmental stages.
Building a Foundation for the Future
Every moment spent helping a child manage big feelings is an investment in their emotional well-being. By offering calm support, modelling healthy coping strategies, and creating a safe environment, adults can nurture children who feel confident, resilient, and connected. These early lessons shape not just childhood, but the way young people approach relationships and challenges throughout their lives.
