Too Busy for Yourself? Here’s How to Change That
Life can feel like a never-ending to-do list. Between work, family, and social commitments, your own needs often slide to the bottom of the pile. You might tell yourself you will rest once that big project is done, or you will take up a hobby after the school holidays. But then something else comes up, and “later” never seems to arrive.
Feeling constantly busy is a common struggle. It can leave you feeling drained, stressed, and disconnected from the person you want to be. The good news is that you can change this. If you prioritise yourself, it is not selfish; it is essential for your health and happiness. It allows you to recharge so you can show up as your best self for others.
This guide will show you how to prioritise yourself, even when your schedule feels packed. With simple, practical steps to help you find time for what matters most: you. You will learn how to identify what you truly need, set boundaries, and build small moments of self-care into your daily life. It is time to move yourself to the top of the list.
Why Is It So Hard to Prioritise Yourself?
If putting yourself first were easy, everyone would do it. Many of us find it incredibly difficult. Understanding the reasons why you don’t prioritise yourself can be the first step towards making a change.
The Pressure to Be Productive
We live in a culture that often praises being busy. We see it as a sign of success and importance. This constant pressure can make you feel guilty for taking a break. You might think that resting is lazy or that you are not doing enough if you are not always working towards a goal. This mindset makes it hard to give yourself permission to relax and recharge. It is a powerful force that keeps many people stuck in a cycle of busyness.
The Needs of Others
If you are a parent, a partner, or a caregiver, you are used to putting other people’s needs before your own. It can feel natural and necessary to make sure everyone else is okay. While caring for others is a wonderful thing, it can lead to forgetting about your own well-being. Over time, this can leave you feeling empty and exhausted. You might not even remember what it feels like to focus on your own needs. If you prioritise yourself, it will benefit you greatly.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
The fear of missing out is another big reason we overcommit. We see friends and colleagues doing exciting things, and we feel we should be doing them too. This can lead to a packed social calendar and very little downtime. Saying no to invitations can feel like you are letting people down or missing an important opportunity. This fear can drive us to fill every empty moment, leaving no space for ourselves.
The Belief That Self-Care Is a Luxury
Many people see self-care as something you do only when you have extra time or money. They think of it as a spa day or a long holiday. But self-care is not a luxury; it is a necessity. It is the small, everyday actions that help you stay healthy and balanced. Believing that self-care is an indulgence makes it easy to push it aside when life gets busy. Prioritise yourself and see self-care as important, in fact vital!
The Benefits of Putting Yourself First
Making time to prioritise yourself is not just about feeling less stressed. It has real, positive effects on many areas of your life. When you prioritise your well-being, you unlock benefits that ripple outwards, touching everything you do.
Better Mental Health
When you are constantly running on empty, your mental health suffers. You might feel anxious, irritable, or overwhelmed. Taking time to prioritise yourself helps you recharge your mind. It gives you space to process your thoughts and emotions. This can lead to lower stress levels, a more positive outlook, and a greater sense of calm.
Increased Energy and Productivity
It might sound strange, but taking breaks can actually make you more productive. When you are well-rested, you have more energy to tackle your tasks. Your focus improves, and you can think more clearly. Pushing through exhaustion often leads to mistakes and burnout. By prioritising rest, you ensure that when you do work, you do it effectively.
Stronger Relationships
When you are drained, it is hard to be present for the people you love. You might be physically there, but your mind is elsewhere. Taking care of yourself fills up your cup, so you have more to give to others. You will find you have more patience, more empathy, and more energy for your relationships. You become a better friend, partner, and parent when you are not running on fumes.
A Stronger Sense of Self
Constantly focusing on others can make you lose touch with who you are. What do you enjoy? What are your goals? Prioritising yourself gives you time to reconnect with your own interests and passions. It helps you remember what makes you happy and what you want out of life. This leads to a stronger sense of identity and purpose.
How to Start Prioritising Yourself
Ready to make a change? Here are six practical steps to help you start putting yourself first, and prioritise yourself even on your busiest days.
1. Identify Your Core Needs
Before you can prioritise yourself, you need to know what you actually need. Take a few minutes to think about what would truly make you feel better. Is it more sleep? Time alone? A chance to be creative? Make a list. Your needs might be simple, like reading a book for 15 minutes or going for a walk. Be honest with yourself. This is not about what you think you should do, but what your mind and body are asking for.
2. Schedule “Me Time”
If it is not in your calendar, it probably will not happen. Treat your “me time” with the same importance as a work meeting or a doctor’s appointment. Block out small chunks of time in your weekly schedule dedicated to having some time to prioritise yourself. It could be 20 minutes in the morning for a quiet cup of tea, an hour in the evening for a hobby, or a weekend afternoon to do whatever you please. Protect this time fiercely.
3. Learn to Say No
This is often the hardest step, but it is one of the most important. You cannot do everything, and you do not have to. Learning to say no is about setting boundaries to protect your time and energy. You can be polite but firm. Try phrases like, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t commit to that right now,” or “I’m not available at that time.” Remember, saying no to something means you are saying yes to your own well-being.
4. Start Small
You do not need to overhaul your entire life overnight. Making small, consistent changes is more effective in the long run. Start with just five minutes of self-care a day. This could be five minutes of deep breathing, listening to your favourite song without distractions, or stretching your body. Small actions add up. Once you get into the habit, you can gradually increase the time to prioritise yourself.
5. Delegate and Ask for Help
You do not have to carry the entire load on your own. Look at your to-do list and see what you can delegate to others. Can your partner handle the grocery shopping this week? Can your children help with household chores? People are often willing to help, but you have to ask. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It frees up your time, makes you prioritise yourself and gives you mental space for other things.
6. Disconnect from Technology
Our phones and devices are a major source of distraction and pressure. The constant notifications and the temptation to scroll can eat into your free time. Set aside specific times to disconnect. Put your phone in another room for an hour. Turn off notifications during your “me time.” Creating tech-free zones or times allows you to be more present and truly rest your mind.
Your Well-Being Is Worth the Effort
Learning to prioritise yourself is a journey, not a destination. There will be days when it feels easy and other days when it feels impossible. The key is to be kind to yourself and keep trying. Start with one small step today. Choose one thing from this guide and put it into practice.
Making yourself a priority will change your life for the better. You will feel more balanced, energised, and content. You will have more to give to the people and things that matter most to you. Your well-being is not a luxury; it is the foundation of a happy and fulfilling life. You are worth the effort.
Will you prioritise yourself more? Has this given you some ideas? What do you do to prioritise yourself on a busy day? Let me know in the comments below.
