Why Being “Just Average” Is Enough (And Why Perfection Is Overrated) New
We live in a world that constantly shouts at us to be “the best.” If you scroll through social media for even five minutes, you might feel like everyone else has a spotless house, a perfect body, and a career that makes them millions. It is exhausting, isn’t it?
The truth is, most of us are not living those picture-perfect lives. And you know what? That is absolutely fine. In fact, striving for “average” might actually be the secret to a happier, healthier life.
This post isn’t about giving up or being lazy. It is about letting go of the pressure to be perfect and realising that being just average is actually a pretty great place to be. If you are tired of chasing an impossible standard, you are in the right place.
The Problem with Chasing Perfection
Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, it is never quite enough? You are not alone. Research shows that the pressure to be perfect is higher than ever, and it is taking a toll on our mental health.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), young people and adults alike are facing a huge rise in something called “socially prescribed perfectionism.” This is just a fancy way of saying we feel like other people expect us to be perfect. The research found that this type of pressure has jumped by 33% in recent years. That is a massive increase, and it explains why so many of us feel anxious and burned out.
The problem with perfectionism is that it is a trap. When you aim for perfection, you are aiming for something that doesn’t exist. You end up constantly criticising yourself for every little mistake. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and a feeling that you just don’t matter unless you are achieving something big.
But here is the thing: you do matter. Experts call this “mattering”, the feeling that you are valuable just because you exist, not because of what you do or how you look. You don’t need a gold medal or a size 6 waist to be important, being just average is ok.
Redefining What “Average” Means
When I say I am “Just Average Jen,” some people get confused. They tell me I shouldn’t put myself down. They think the word “average” means “bad” or “failure.” But I disagree completely.
To me, being just average means balance. It means I am not trying to be a supermodel or the CEO of a massive company. It means I shop at the supermarket, I have grey hairs coming through, and sometimes I feed my family a takeaway because I am too tired to cook. And that is okay.
The Happiness Formula
I believe that happiness comes from a simple combination. It isn’t about being rich or famous. It is about being:
Happy + Healthy + Average = A Good Life
If you are mostly happy and mostly healthy, then you are winning. You don’t need to be the best at everything. You just need to be “good enough.”
I learned this the hard way. A few years ago, I lost a lot of weight and got down to a size 6. On the outside, I looked like I had achieved “perfection.” But on the inside? I was miserable. I was physically healthy, but my mental health was suffering. I didn’t feel good enough, even then. That taught me that chasing a number on a scale or a “perfect” image doesn’t bring joy.
Now, I focus on progress, not perfection. I might not be the best blogger, or the best mum, or the best partner every single day. But I am good enough, and being just average is ok. And accepting that has given me so much freedom.
How to Let Go of Perfectionism
So, how do you actually stop beating yourself up and start embracing your average, wonderful self? It takes a bit of practice, but there are some practical tools you can use to help you with being just average.
1. Practise Self-Compassion
Self-compassion sounds a bit fluffy, but it is actually a scientifically backed tool for resilience. It just means treating yourself with the same kindness you would show a friend.
If your best friend dropped a mug and smashed it, would you scream at them and call them an idiot? Of course not. You would tell them it was an accident and help them clean it up. But when we make a mistake, we often tell ourselves we are stupid or useless.
To start practising this, try these steps from my guide on embracing self-compassion:
- Mindful Self-Talk: Catch that inner critic. When you hear a nasty voice in your head, pause and replace it with something kinder.
- Self-Care Rituals: Do small things that make you feel looked after, like a bubble bath or a walk.
- Accept Imperfection: Remind yourself that making mistakes is just part of being human.
2. Catch It, Check It, Change It
Our thoughts can sometimes spiral out of control. We might think, “I messed up this presentation, so I am going to get fired, and I am a total failure.”
The NHS suggests a great technique called “Reframing unhelpful thoughts.” It helps you step back and look at the evidence. Here is how it works:
- Catch It: Notice when you are having a negative thought. Are you assuming the worst? Are you ignoring the good stuff?
- Check It: Ask yourself: Is this actually true? What evidence do I have? What would I say to a friend in this situation?
- Change It: Replace the thought with a more balanced one. Instead of “I am a failure,” try “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it and do better next time.”
This takes practice, but over time, it can really help reduce anxiety and accept being just average.
3. Be Open About Your Struggles
One reason we feel so much pressure is that we hide our struggles. We only post the good stuff online. But sharing the hard stuff can be incredibly freeing.
I have always been open about my mental health, including taking medication. You can read more about why I am open about my mental health here.
When we talk about our “average” days, the messy houses, the bad moods, the struggles, we normalise them and normalise being just average. We help others realise they aren’t alone. So, don’t be afraid to admit when things aren’t perfect.
Handling the “Bad Days”
Even when you embrace being just average, you will still have bad days. You might spill coffee down your shirt, miss a deadline, or just wake up feeling grumpy.
When this happens, don’t spiral into shame. Instead, try to be kind to yourself. Here are a few tips on how to be kind to yourself after a bad day:
- Acknowledge the Pain: Say to yourself, “This is really hard right now.” Don’t ignore it.
- Remember Common Humanity: Everyone has bad days. You are not the only one struggling.
- Reset Your Body: Sometimes you can’t think your way out of stress. Try a simple breathing exercise. Breathe in for 5 seconds, and out for 5 seconds. Doing this for just a few minutes can calm your nervous system.
- Create a Transition Ritual: If you have had a rough day at work, do something to mark the end of the day so you don’t carry the stress home. Write down your worries in a notebook (a “brain dump”) or put your phone away for an hour.
Normalising “Normal”
We need to reclaim the word “normal.”
Normal is having a pile of laundry you haven’t put away.
Normal is having days where you feel great and days where you feel insecure.
Normal is ordering a pizza because you can’t face cooking.
When we accept this, we stop fighting against reality. We stop wasting energy trying to be someone we aren’t and be happy being just average. We can focus that energy on things that actually make us happy, like spending time with family, enjoying a hobby, or just getting a good night’s sleep.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is striving for being just average an excuse to be lazy?
Not at all! Striving for average doesn’t mean you don’t work hard or try to improve. It means you set realistic goals. It means you aim for progress, not perfection. You can still be ambitious and want to do well, but you don’t let your self-worth depend on being the absolute best at everything.
How do I stop comparing myself to people on social media?
This is a tough one. Remember that social media is a highlight reel. You are comparing your “behind-the-scenes” (your messy life) with someone else’s polished “trailer.” If certain accounts make you feel bad about yourself, unfollow them. Follow people who are real and honest instead.
What if I feel guilty when I am not being productive?
We live in a culture that values productivity over people. But you are a human being, not a human doing. Rest is not a waste of time; it is essential. You deserve to rest simply because you exist, not because you “earned” it.
Can being just average really make me happier?
I truly believe it can. When you let go of the need to be perfect, you take a huge weight off your shoulders. You have more time and energy to enjoy the small things in life. You can appreciate a nice cup of tea, a walk in the park, or a chat with a friend without worrying about whether you are “achieving” enough.
Can you do it too?
Life is a balance. It is a mix of happy and healthy, with a big dollop of “average” in the middle.
If you are feeding your family mostly healthy food (with the occasional treat), paying your bills, and finding some time to enjoy yourself, then you are doing just fine and being just average is ok.
So, let’s make a stand. Let’s embrace the grey hairs, the messy kitchens, and the “good enough” efforts. Let’s be proud of being normal. Because honestly? Normal is okay. Being just average is ok. You are okay. And you are doing a great job.
If you are finding it hard to be kind to yourself today, remember: aim for progress, not perfection.
