How to Test Your Friendship
This is a collaborative post.
Friendships are an integral part of our lives, your BFF is likely providing support, joy, and companionship. However, sometimes we may wonder how deep and genuine these relationships are.
There are certain ways to understand and evaluate the strength and authenticity of your friendship with your BFF (Best Friend Forever).
We rarely do these tests as friends are the ones whom we relax with but it’s wise to get to know if it’s a truly inevitable friendship and connection we have or if there’s some reason behind that we don’t know of.
Observational ‘Tests’
Observing certain behaviors and patterns in your friendship can be telling of its depth and authenticity. These observational ‘tests’ are not about setting up scenarios to judge your friend but rather about noticing how they naturally behave in various situations.
Consistency in Behavior
Consistency in how your friend treats you is a strong indicator of a solid friendship. Observe if their kindness and respect for you remain constant over time, regardless of circumstances or their mood. Inconsistencies might be a sign of a less stable relationship.
Reciprocity in the Relationship
Friendship involves a mutual give-and-take. Consider whether there’s a balance in your relationship.
Does your friend reciprocate your efforts, whether it’s in initiating plans, conversations, or offering support? Does your friend know you really well or are they just a side-observer in things that happen to you and have other plans that don’t involve in-depth connection with you as a person?
You can find that out just having some fun together infiltrating a quiz of your own – a BFF quiz, an easy sneaky way which ends with a laugh but leaves you with far more knowledge about how truly your friend connects with you.
A one-sided relationship can often feel unfulfilling and might not be sustainable in the long run.
Reaction to Success and Good News
A friend’s reaction to your successes and good news can reveal a lot about the strength of your bond. Genuine friends feel happy for you and celebrate your achievements. They are not envious or competitive but rather share in your joy and success.
Understanding the Qualities of a Real Friendship
To assess if your friendship is the real deal, it’s crucial to understand the key qualities that underpin a genuine and lasting friendship. These qualities, such as trust and honesty, support during tough times, and respect for boundaries, are the foundation of any strong relationship.
Trust and Honesty
At the heart of every real friendship is trust and honesty. Consider how your friend behaves when honesty is essential – do they tell you the truth, even if it might be uncomfortable?
Trustworthy friends are those who can be relied upon to be honest and who respect your privacy, keeping confidences securely.
Support During Tough Times
Life isn’t always smooth sailing, and a real friend is someone who stands by you through thick and thin. Reflect on the times you’ve faced challenges or hardships – was your friend there to offer support, to listen, and to help?
Genuine friends are those who don’t just enjoy the good times with you but are also there during the tough times.
Respect for Boundaries
A healthy friendship involves respecting each other’s boundaries. This respect is about understanding and honoring each other’s personal space, time, and emotional limits.
Consider whether your friend acknowledges and respects your boundaries without pressuring you to change them.
Communication and Conflict Resolution
Strong friendships can withstand tough conversations.
Discussing Difficult Topics
Pay attention to how you both handle disagreements or sensitive topics. A good friend will communicate openly and work through conflicts with understanding and respect.
Listening and Empathy
Evaluate how well your friend listens and empathizes with you. Do they make an effort to understand your perspective? Empathetic friends validate your feelings and show genuine concern for your well-being.
Accepting and Learning from Mistakes
No one is perfect, and mistakes are inevitable. Observe how your friend reacts when they are wrong. Do they apologize and make an effort to learn and grow from the experience?
What to Do if Things ‘Go South’?
In life, we encounter a wide range of relationships, each with its unique dynamics and levels of closeness. Realizing that someone might not be your ‘BFF’ in the truest sense doesn’t diminish the value they can add to your life in other ways.
Every friendship, even those that don’t meet our highest expectations, has something to offer.
It’s wise to approach any revelations with understanding and maturity. Instead of hastily cutting ties, consider redefining the boundaries and expectations of the friendship.
This approach allows you to maintain a meaningful connection, albeit in a different form, and continue to enjoy the positive aspects of the relationship.