Money in Relationships – are you honest?

We’ve all done it haven’t we, told a partner that we have had a bag for years when we buy something new or told a white lie about how much it cost. After all, everyone deserves a treat, don’t they?

If you earn your money you can spend it as you wish, can’t you? Or maybe you believe every penny should be accounted for and discussed? Are you in the minority or majority in your opinions?

After reading some recent research I was quite puzzled by some of the statistics and thought I would share them with you.

According to research by Ferratum 26% of women expect the other person to pay on a first date! This really surprised me as in my opinion, a first date should be about both having a nice time and sharing the fun and the cost.

I wouldn’t dream of expecting someone to pay for me. Though I guess if they were a millionaire I could just about accept that! How about you?

Lies on the first date?

Whilst I don’t recall ever really lying on a first date I guess I have omitted areas of truth. I can’t see the point in bearing all and sharing the bad things about you but being fake doesn’t work either. I was once told by a date that his dad was a surgeon.

It turned out he was an assistant in an old people’s home. I am totally not a materialistic person so was much more bothered that he had lied than that his dad wasn’t a surgeon!

Another date told me that he had a different name to what he did. You may think that this is a tactic when not interested in someone but actually, we saw each other a few times and he was very much interested.

He just was a bit of a pathological liar! There are so many things you could lie about on a first date you see, not just money!

Social Media

Do you check social media before going on a date with someone? Or maybe a friend has a date so you ask them to show you their profile? This is normal, isn’t it?

Apparently not! It turns out the same research found only 40% of men do this and 54% of women do. Maybe I am just a bit nosey!

Is it acceptable to tell the world of social media you have a date? Maybe talk about what they do for a job? I personally think that is a big part of someone’s identity so I love to know about that early in a relationship.

Not their income as such just their job, whether they enjoy it or not and the hours they work?

Are you like me or do you prefer to chat about that further down the line when you know each other more? Does chatting about work mean you are materialistic?

Who’s money is who’s?

I don’t think it matters who earns more, do you? Do you like to be financially independent? If you do then you are with 66% of men and 70% of women.

I certainly couldn’t imagine being completely dependent on a partner though I have been before I felt very uncomfortable with it. Again, if they were a millionaire and wanted to spoil me then maybe I would have fewer objections.

I don’t tell Stuart everything I buy, not that I am being particularly secretive but because as long as I am not being lavish I can’t see that it matters.

I certainly don’t feel like I should tell him about every new bra I buy or every time I go for coffee with a friend.

Of course, if I was struggling to pay bills or buy the essentials then that would be important. All the time I am not though, I do my own thing to some degree. I am a bit of a shopping addict!

The research shows that 46% of men would happily share their monthly spending with their partner, though 68% of women would rather not share their money! Where are you in that?

I think I am in the middle, to be honest. Whilst I don’t have secrets, I don’t share them all either. I certainly don’t think Stuart should have to consult me before buying me anything anyway!

If he was to ring me and ask if he could buy a coffee I would be hurt he felt he had to consult me. I am sure many of you feel the same. I hope we grow old together.

Debts are another thing entirely! Apparently, debts are something both men and women don’t find easy to talk about with their partners.