A guest post to help you improve your confidence from Danny Greeves Coaching.
Confidence is a funny thing, one moment it can be there and you’re enjoying yourself in full flow, the next you’re doubting yourself and struggling with anxiety, stuck in overthinking mode and exhausted.
This is an experience everyone goes through, but there are a few key principles that will make a big difference in building sustainable, long-term confidence.
Confidence and Self-expression
One of the most important vehicles for building confidence is feeling safe enough to express yourself. Every human on earth has their own unique set of values, so there really isn’t anyone else quite like you.
This means you have your own thoughts, feelings and ideas. We only have to look at human vocal cords to see this clever piece of the anatomy we all have is designed to help you share your voice outwards – with the world.
Your voice has been designed to be shared with others, and if you feel there isn’t a safe space to do this, or where you feel people aren’t listening and giving you their attention, it drains confidence.
But, if you can find your community, find a tribe with similar passions, you can carve out a space to start expressing yourself. This could be in-person or online, but the key is to find your safe space to speak from your heart.
Competence leads to confidence
There is a feeling of certainty that comes with a high level of competence in what you’re doing. Many people would love to feel confident before doing something, and while this can sometimes be possible, often it’s the results that bring confidence.
Dedicating time, energy and attention to increasing your skill level will rapidly build confidence. It does require patience and persistence, and there will be times when you feel uncomfortable or make mistakes, but it will be worth it.
There are so many different things competing for your attention on a daily basis, and sometimes it’s easy to get stuck in the weeds of day-to-day life.
By prioritising what you want to work on, and scheduling in some time each week to learn and develop your skills, you can consistently increase your competence and watch your self-esteem grow. Thinking about this and making these changes is sure to improve your confidence.
Celebrate the small wins
Progress is hard! Everyone has those days where things haven’t gone to plan and it feels like you’re going back to square one. If these days are left to their own devices, it only takes a few setbacks before your confidence really takes a knock.
If, on the other hand, you take 5 minutes out of each day to reflect on what did go well, what worked, and what you really put effort into, then you start to build momentum.
Confidence and momentum are best friends, and when one gets moving so does the other. This means that those pesky setback days are kept in perspective by all the positive action you’re taking, and so they seem less important.
Humans have an innate tendency to compare themselves to one another. It’s hardwired into the brain and doesn’t look like changing anytime soon.
Comparisons in themselves aren’t bad, the problem is in how they are used. As everyone has different values, different meanings and different goals, negatively comparing yourself to others is one of the most damaging things you can do to your confidence.
When you focus on what you have more than you focus on what you lack, you feel more confident. This is one key step to improve your confidence.
When you inevitably compare yourself to someone else, whatever you see in them, go and find it within yourself.
Identify what it is about them you admire so much, and then find out where you do it in your own way. It won’t be the same, but you are your own person, so you will do it in your own unique style.
Rediscover your hidden value
You have so much more value than you give yourself credit for. Just like when standing on the top of a mountain it can be hard to see everything underneath you, the same applies to your value.
If you were to sit down with a paper and pen, and make a list of everything you know, and everything you can do – you would be amazed.
Going through all of the knowledge and expertise you have in all the different areas of life; family, finances, mental and physical body, spirituality, social influence and career, you will give yourself a huge boost in confidence.
Practice makes perfect
The age-old adage goes ‘if you don’t use it, you lose it’, and this is true of confidence. If you don’t practice and work on the things that build confidence, then how can you expect it to grow?
Feeling confident depends on how certain you are of yourself and your abilities, and practice is the key to maintaining both. Regular practice of doing the thing that makes a difference for you will stand you in good stead moving forwards.
Confidence is a life-long practice; it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so keep your eyes on the prize and know that you are going in the right direction.
To find out your Confident Communicator score, take the free quiz at https://dannygreevescoaching.scoreapp.com. You’ll get a personalised report and exercises to help you take the next step on your confidence journey to improve your confidence.