Why I Chose ‘Something Blue Ladies’ Over Bridesmaids (And How I Asked Them)
We all know the rhyme. You need something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. When we started wedding planning, I had this in my mind, and people asked if I was having bridesmaids, and then I started thinking.
To be honest, the idea of having traditional bridesmaids stressed me out. I love my friends and close family dearly. That is exactly why I didn’t want to give them a job. I didn’t want to force them into expensive matching dresses that they would never wear again. I didn’t want them to stress about planning a hen do or standing in a line with me or forced photos and flowers.
I wanted my besties to just be there with me. I wanted them to have fun. So, I decided to do something a little different. I ditched the bridesmaids. Instead, I asked five of my closest friends and family to be my “Something Blue.”
Here is why I did it, how it works, and how I asked them to take on this very special (and very low-stress) role.
The Problem with Traditional Bridesmaids
Don’t get me wrong. I love seeing wedding photos with a row of matching ladies. It looks beautiful. But for me, it felt like too much pressure.
Being a bridesmaid is expensive. You have the dress, the shoes, the hair, the makeup, and the accommodation. Then you have the hen do and the bridal shower. It adds up to hundreds, sometimes thousands of pounds.
I also have friends with very different body types and styles. Trying to find one dress that made everyone feel confident sounded like a nightmare. I wanted them to look like themselves.
That is where the “Something Blue” concept came in. It was the perfect compromise. It kept the tradition of having my special people close by, but it threw out all the rules that didn’t fit us.
What is a “Something Blue Lady”?
You might be wondering what exactly a Something Blue Lady does. The beauty of it is that you can make up your own rules.
For my wedding, here is how it works:
1. The Dress Code
This is the best bit. I told them they could wear absolutely anything they wanted, as long as it incorporated something blue. It could be navy, sky blue, teal, or cobalt. It could be a jumpsuit, a maxi dress, or even a hair clip or bag.
This means they can buy something they actually love within their own budget. Or, even better, they can wear something they already own.
2. The Duties (Or Lack Thereof)
They don’t have to organise games. They don’t have to stand at the front of the ceremony holding my bouquet. Their only job is to turn up, wear something blue, and maybe have a drink with me while I get ready in the morning.
3. The Photos
We will still do photos with my blue ladies, but they don’t have to all be together; we will see how it goes on the day. These are five very special people to me, so I want to ensure I have photos with them, but they will be however they are comfortable and not feeling uncomfortable in clothes they wouldn’t have chosen for themselves!
How I Asked Them: The Proposal Boxes
Even though I wasn’t asking them to do any work, I still wanted to propose to them properly. Asking someone to be in your wedding is a big deal. It says you are one of my favourite people in the world.
I decided to make “Something Blue” proposal boxes.
Since the whole idea was something blue, I had a lot of fun with the contents. I wanted the boxes to explain the concept clearly so they knew they weren’t signing up for typical bridesmaid duties.
Here is what I put inside:
- A Personal Note: This was the most important part. I wrote a card explaining that instead of bridesmaids, I wanted them to be my “something blue.” I explicitly wrote No matching dresses. No duties. Just wear blue and be by my side.
- Prosecco: Yes, this exists! I bought mini bottles of prosecco and added a sticker that said “I couldn’t say I do without you”
- Blue Bar of Salted Caramel Lindor: Sweet and fun but also blue!
- A Blue Bracelet: A small, useful gift that fit the theme.
- Blue nail files: Because we all want to feel good for the big day.
- Blue pen and notebook: Just because they were useful and blue!
- A blue packet of tissues
- A blue Nivea lip balm
- A blue butterfly keyring
- A Blue Swirly Straw
- Some blue clay stars
- A blue-patterned coaster
- Blue tealights
- Blue washi tapes
Then I wrapped the items in some blue tissue paper and shredded paper, added blue confetti and put into a personalised box with a handwritten card. I wrote a special message and request in each card which was personalised to the recipient so I won’t share those here.
I actually made a short video showing exactly how I put these boxes together. You can see the final result and the specific items I used right here on my Instagram: My Something Blue Boxes.
Seeing their reactions was the best part. They were all so excited and said yes they would love to be my something blue. I think they were also relieved when they realised they could pick their own outfits!
Why This Might Be Right for You
If you are on the fence about having a wedding party, I really recommend this approach.
It takes the pressure off everyone. Your friends get to relax and enjoy the wedding. You get to avoid being a “bridezilla” about dress fittings and hair appointments.
It also solves the “Something Blue” part of the rhyme perfectly. What could be luckier than having your best friends by your side?
Plus, visually, it works. Everyone wears something they feel happy and comfortable in!
Frequently Asked Questions
I have had a few people ask me about the logistics of this. It breaks tradition, so people get confused. Here are the most common questions I get about having Something Blue Ladies.
Do they walk down the aisle?
For my wedding, no. They will be seated before the ceremony starts. However, you could definitely have them walk down the aisle if you wanted to. It is your wedding, so you make the rules.
Who holds your bouquet?
This is a practical one! Since I won’t have a bridesmaid standing next to me, I will probably hand my bouquet to my mum in the front row once I reach the end of the aisle. You could also set up a table for this purpose.
Do they get ready with you?
Yes, if they want to! I still want that fun morning of drinking champagne and listening to music with my girls if they can but don’t want to add the pressure if they would rather not. They can come over ready (or get changed there) and hang out while I get my hair and makeup done.
Did you have a Maid of Honour?
I didn’t choose one specific Maid of Honour. I know some people worry this might cause chaos, but my friends are great at pitching in naturally.
Is it rude to tell them what colour to wear if they aren’t bridesmaids?
I don’t think so. Telling them “wear anything blue you like” is much less demanding than saying “buy this specific £200 dress.”
Doing it our way
Planning a wedding teaches you a lot about what matters to you.
For me, it wasn’t about the perfect aesthetic or following every single tradition in the book. It was about having the people I love around me in a way that feels authentic and joyful.
Turning my best friends into my “Something Blue” ladies has been one of my favourite decisions so far. It is fun, it is personal, and it is entirely stress-free.
If you are stressed about bridesmaids, take this as your sign. You can break the rules. You can do something different.
Do you like my idea of something blue, ladies? Let me know in the comments below.
