The Treatment That Finally Stopped My Pain
For years, pain was simply part of my life. I hoped for something that stopped my pain but it felt like it would never happen. Luckily it did, here I am sharing a bit about how that felt to follow on from my article about my journey with GnRH analogues.
Not every day, of course, but often enough that it affected how I planned things, how I felt and sometimes even who I was as a person. It became one of those things that sat in the background constantly. Even on good days, there was always a little part of me wondering when the next bad day would arrive. Whilst I have never had an official diagnosis, my pain and issues fit well with endometriosis, and many doctors have suggested this is a possibility, but prefer to treat symptoms rather than diagnose, frustratingly!
The Reality of Chronic Pain
When you’ve lived with pain for a long time, it starts to become normal. Not normal in the sense that you enjoy it or get used to it, but normal in the sense that you stop expecting life to be any different. You never think what would happen if you found something that worked, finding something that stopped my pain seemed as unlikely as being left a million pounds from a distant relative I had never met!
You learn where to keep the painkillers and how many to always have in stock, ready for a flare-up. You learn which positions hurt less. You learn how to smile through conversations when you’re feeling awful. You learn how to cancel plans without sounding like you’re cancelling because of pain again.
Looking back now, I think one of the hardest things was that I spent so many years trying to manage the symptoms that I almost stopped believing there would ever be a real solution.
I’ve had painful periods for as long as I can remember; nothing stopped my pain, however much I tried. Over the years, there were countless appointments, different medications, investigations and conversations with healthcare professionals. Sometimes I would leave feeling hopeful that we were finally getting somewhere. Other times, I would leave feeling completely defeated because yet another option hadn’t worked.
There were treatments I couldn’t tolerate because of the side effects; they stopped my pain a little but made me ill. There were treatments that helped a little, but not enough. There were treatments that seemed promising at first but ultimately left me disappointed. Every time something failed, it became a little harder to get excited about the next possibility.
I think anyone who has lived with chronic pain will understand that feeling.
People often assume that hope is easy to maintain, but after years of searching for answers, hope can actually become quite exhausting. You don’t want to get your hopes up too much because you’ve been disappointed before. At the same time, you desperately want the next thing to be the thing that finally helps. You want to be that person who says, “This stopped my pain”, but it feels like it just will never happen.
A New Plan
By the time GnRH analogue treatment was suggested to me, I was cautiously optimistic at best.
I had already spent years dealing with symptoms that were affecting my quality of life. My periods weren’t simply inconvenient. They were painful, heavy and completely draining. I arranged parts of my life around them. I worried about them in advance. I dreaded them before they even arrived.
The idea behind the treatment sounded straightforward enough. By temporarily shutting down the hormones that drive the menstrual cycle, the hope was that the symptoms would improve. In theory, it made sense. Dreaming that it stopped my pain was amazing, but would it?
The Treatment That Actually Stopped My Pain
What I wasn’t prepared for was just how much difference it would make. For the first time in years, the pain stopped, the heavy bleeding for three weeks at a time stopped, and I felt normal! I had found a treatment that stopped my pain, finally at age 44 I had something that worked!
Even writing that feels strange because for so long I couldn’t imagine what life without that pain would be like.
The first few months almost felt unreal. I kept waiting for the pain to return. I kept expecting the familiar pattern to start again. Instead, nothing happened.
No severe cramps or counting down the hours until painkillers kicked in.
No planning my life around when my next period was due.
No spending days curled up wishing I could press pause on everything.
Just…normality.
And I hadn’t realised how extraordinary normality could feel.
It’s difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced chronic pain. When you’re healthy, feeling normal doesn’t seem particularly exciting. But when you’ve spent years dealing with symptoms, normal suddenly feels like a gift.
I remember realising one day that I hadn’t thought about pain for weeks. I had stopped my pain and could think aboout other things!
Living With A New Normal
This all sounds like such a small thing, being pain-free and not carrying spare pads and clothes everywhere, but it is life-changing. Something had actually stopped my pain!
But for years, pain had occupied so much space in my mind. It influenced decisions, plans and emotions. Without it, I suddenly had mental energy available for other things. Now that I had stopped my pain, I could plan more and do more than I ever had before.
I wasn’t constantly calculating where I was in my cycle and hoping that this month I would fit the usual bleed for 7 days and then nothing for 21 days instead of the opposite! I wasn’t wondering whether plans would need to be cancelled.
I wasn’t worrying about how I would cope next month. For the first time in a very long time, I felt free. That doesn’t mean the treatment was perfect.
Like any medication, there were considerations and side effects to think about. It wasn’t a magical cure that solved every problem in my life. There were discussions about long-term use, bone health and managing menopause-like symptoms. At one point, I also tried add-back therapy with tibolone, which unfortunately affected my mental health badly and wasn’t right for me.
But despite those challenges, the difference in pain was remarkable. I felt like a new person, and I still do. I stopped my pain and it felt blooming amazing!
If someone had told me years earlier that there would eventually be a treatment that could stop the pain completely, I honestly don’t think I would have believed them.
When you’ve spent so long living with something, it becomes difficult to imagine life without it. Perhaps that’s why the experience changed me so much. It wasn’t just about the physical relief. It was about what that relief represented.
For years, I’d worried that this might be something I would have to endure forever. I’d wondered whether life would always revolve around managing symptoms. I’d wondered whether things would ever improve.
Then suddenly, they did. The treatment didn’t just stop my pain. It gave me a glimpse of what life could be like without it. And that was something I’d almost stopped believing was possible.
If you’re currently searching for answers, trying different treatments or feeling frustrated because nothing seems to be helping, I know how disheartening that journey can be. I know what it’s like to feel as though you’re running out of options.
What I’ve learned, though, is that sometimes the thing that finally helps is the option you haven’t found yet. I can’t tell you what treatment will work for you because every person and every condition is different. What stopped my pain might not work for you, but keep going and keep trying new things.
What I can tell you is that after years of pain, appointments, disappointment and uncertainty, I eventually found something that changed my life. And after spending so long believing that pain was simply something I had to live with, that feeling was nothing short of incredible.
Have you found me sharing what stopped my pain interesting? Let me know in the comments below.
