Obese-Slim-Obese! Losing Weight Take Two!
I always try to be honest with those who read my blog. Having shared my weight loss story where I lost over 10 stone in 16 months. I’ve also shared a bit of my weight gain story. I know I have said this a few times but I really need to sort myself out. I am so unhappy with my size and with how far it has all gone wrong. I know many of you have been there with ups and downs of weight so will know how I feel. It doesn’t make it any easier though does it? I don’t want to be fat at 40 and have two years until then so I am determined I am losing weight again.
Where it all went wrong
Mental Health and gaining weight
My depression and anxiety have had a big impact on my weight because I am terrible for comfort eating. I would be lying though if I said it was all down to that as it isn’t. Many things have made me gain weight this is just one of them. I have suffered with depression and anxiety most of my life but I need to stop using this as an excuse as I had it when I last lost weight!
Greed and gaining weight
I like my food and got greedy. I have pigged on doughnuts, lattes, chocolate, cake and biscuits. I am naturally a bit of an eater and I do think it is an addiction in some ways. I just need to crack it again. This time hopefully it will be for good but I am aware I could relapse like any addict.
Timmy Tumour and gaining weight
As I shared with you recently I currently have a tumour in my neck. It is making me very uncomfortable and feeling sick a lot. Of course an apple size lump in my neck would do though wouldn’t it? It worries me too which again leads to more comfort eating! I now have an operation date though and it is a month away so I need to lose the weight and not let this be an excuse any more.
Self hate cycle and gaining weight
When you hate yourself you feel like whatever you do wont change that so eating isn’t seen as a bad thing because you see yourself as the worst you ever could be anyway. It is a cycle though, I felt this months ago and carried on eating and gained more weight and now feel worse. It turns out the cycle is more of a downwards spiral. If you are in the position I was six months ago, then listen to me. It can get worse, if you keep eating your emotions you will gain weight. That is a fact (pretty much!). I accept this and have stopped that spiral, again, will you?
Losing Weight – My Plan
Food for losing weight
I am cutting out all the bad foods. I know that these things can be eaten in moderation with no problems but for me this will not work. I am too greedy to have anything in reasonable moderation. For me I am an all or nothing girl! I will be clean eating as such and avoiding too much in the way of processed foods. I know this works well for me and as a vegetarian I have always had a diet relatively high in vegetables anyway.
I am going to increase calcium intake as when I have followed some of the OurPath plan that definitely helped my bowel habits. I am going to try to increase my protein too which as a vegetarian means more seeds, nuts, tofu and perhaps Quorn. This helped me recently too as it helped me feel fuller for longer. I am not cutting out carbs but I am going to move to mostly brown rice and pasta and only once a day carbs where possible.
Exercise whilst losing weight
This is a bit harder at the moment with my upcoming operation and my physical health linked to that. I am going to aim to walk Ben to school as often as I can and walk more in general. I will park my car further from the supermarket and stop driving to the shop up the road!
I would love to get a treadmill and work on running again in time starting with walking. At the moment though that isn’t my focus as I know I wouldn’t often use it and will definitely struggle to in the weeks after my surgery. After that decision will be made about whether to join a gym or work on something from home. Either way, I know I lost weight without exercise last time so I can do it again if necessary. My Fitbit will help me start slowly and build up.
My Mental Health whilst losing weight
I have started Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) so I am sure that will help me to move forward. I also am not ashamed to admit I take medication to help with my depression and anxiety. I have a few great people I know I can chat to when I struggle and have all the support I need. Those chemicals in my brain will not beat me!
Being Accountable whilst losing weight
Every week on a Thursday (because I started afresh yesterday) I am going to weigh myself and share with you all the difference whether it be positive or negative. I am going to share my meals on my Instagram for every single meal (not just salads!). This will help me stay on track but also make me eat breakfast as I am terrible for skipping it then being hungry later! I am going to stop being a Secret Eater too. I will also share the differences in my measurements too but only do these every 4 weeks as it just isn’t realistic to expect them to change weekly (though I wish they would!).
Whilst I am keen to be open and honest with you I won’t be sharing my current weight or measurements but I am sure you can make your own guess based on my recent pictures above. Obviously, when I get back to my happy weight you will be able to calculate how much I have lost as I will share my weight when I am happy and obviously stop so I don’t become a stick!
I need your help losing weight
Please can you help me by following me on Instagram. Any comments or likes on my food or progress would be hugely appreciated. Please help me remember I have done this once I can do it again. If you have any friends who would like to follow my second mission to be slim then please do let them know about my blog too. I may have regained a lot of weight but I know I can lose it again and if nothing else it shows I am human!
